For as long as I can remember, Mommy and Daddy have been sticking bottles in my mouth. I don't like bottles. Back when they started trying to feed me from a bottle, at least the bottles had Mommy's milk in them. Now they've got some nasty, foreign, hypoallergenic formula. Sure, they'll tell you that I'm allergic to something in Mommy's diet (even though she's forsaken milk, soy, wheat and gluten for weeks now). So what? I'm still pretty happy-go-lucky and I'm still gaining weight. What's the big deal? Besides, I heard them talking about all the things that would happen if I reliably ate from a bottle. Something about Mommy being able to go back to work in the lab, to go snowboarding, to go out with her friends, or even under the knife to get that piece of metal out of her collarbone. Now you tell me - why would I want her to do any of that stuff when she could keep spending all her time with me?
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